First Grade Logic

This was emailed to me from someone at work and I thought it was pretty good for laughs. I personally didn't really get the last one, but oh well - some of the others are good!


F1RST GRADE LOGIC

A first grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. Keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!



 ocregister.com



1. Don't change horses ---- until they stop running.

2. Strike while ---- the bug is close.

3. It's always darkest before ---- Daylight Saving Time.

4. Never underestimate ----- the power of termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water ---- but how?

6. Don't bite the hand ----- that looks dirty.

7. No news ----- is impossible

8. A miss is as good as ---- a Mr.

9. You can't teach an old dog ----- new Math

10. If you lie down with dogs ----- you'll stink in the morning.

11. Love all ---- trust Me.

12. The pen is mightier than ----- the pigs.

13. An idle mind is ----- the best way to relax.

14.. Where there's smoke ----- there's pollution.

15. Happy the bride ----- who gets all the presents.

16. A penny saved is ----- not much.

17. Two's company ----- three's the Musketeers.

18. Don't put off till tomorrow ----- what you put on to go to bed.

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and ----- you have to blow your nose.

20. There are none so blind as ----- Stevie Wonder.

21. Children should be seen and not ------ spanked or grounded.

22. If at first you don't succeed ----- get new batteries.

23. You get out of something only what you ------ see in the picture on the box

24.. When the blind lead the blind ----- get out of the way.

25. A bird in the hand ------ is going to poop on you.





The WINNER and last one!


 gettyimages.com











26 Better late than ----- Pregnant

Answer for Kiaugh

Kiaugh is a scottish noun. It means anxiety or trouble. Check the Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary.

Try next month's test!

Christie v Davey: Must read!

This is one hilarious case our study group leader came across. He read it aloud to us, and before he was done, all of us were already cracking up! Now, anytime someone mentions the area of law the case deals with, (private nuisance with malice), it's the first case that pops into our minds. It's cases like these that make studying law fun. ROFL!!!

Unfortunately, I cannot find the entire case online because it's an english case, and I can only access Australian cases. But I do have an excerpt of the case in my text book.

These are the facts of the case which occurred in 1893:

Mr and Mrs Christie and the defendant lived side by side in semi-detached houses. Mrs Christie was a music teacher, and the rest of her family were also musical. Throughout the day, sounds of music pervaded their house and were heard in the Defendant's house. The defendant did not like the music he heard, so he decided to pen a letter to his neighbours.

The letter read:
"During this week we have been much disturbed by what I at first thought were the howlings of your dog, and, knowing from experience that this sort of thing could not be helped, I put up with the annoyance. But, the noise recurring at a comparatively early hour this morning, I find I have been quite mistaken, and that it is the frantic effort of someone trying to sing with piano accompaniment, and during the day we are treated by way of variety of dreadful scrapings on the violin, with accompaniments. If the accompaniments are intended to drown the vocal shrieks or teased catgut vibrations, I can assure you it is a failure, for they do not. I am at last compelled to complain, for I cannot carry on my profession (the defendant was an engraver) with this constant thump, thump, scrap, scrap, and shriek, shriek, constantly in my ears. It may be a pleasure or source of profit to you, but to me and mine it is a confounded nuisance and pecuniary loss, and, if allowed to continue, it must most seriously affect our health and comfort. We cannot use the back part of our house without feeling great inconvenience through this constant playing, sometimes up to midnight and even beyond. Allow me to remind you of one fact, which must most surely have escaped you--that these houses are semi-detached, so that you yourself may see how annoying it must be to your unfortunate next door neighbour. If it is not discontinued, I shall be compelled to take very serious notice of it. It may be fine sport to you, but it is almost death to yours truly."

ROFLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love this case! :D Well, in case you are wondering if the neighbours took his note seriously, no they did not.

So by way of retaliating, the defendant took to making noises himself. He began beating trays, rapping on the wall in malice. The Christies' grew irritated at this and began to make even more noise. In return, the defendant created even more noise. What a peaceful english village.

Finally, the Christies got fed up and took the matter to court. The court ruled in favour of the Christies.

My favourite line of the note is the last sentence. "It may be fine sport to you but it is almost death to yours truly." lol!

Secret: The movie

1st of 11:


2nd of 11:


3rd of 11:


4th of 11:


5th of 11:


6th of 11:


7th of 11:


8th of 11:


9th of 11:


10th of 11:


11th of 11th:

Piano battle

This is AWESOME!!! You'll watch it with your mouth ajar, tongue hanging out and saliva drooling down your mouth!!

It's from the piano battle scene in the new chinese movie hit: Secret. I watched this in my cousin's house in Singapore, and this was my favourite scene. It truly is brilliant! I'm not surprised that this movie poster was hanging in every book store I went to in Singapore! :P

Observe the movement from a difficult Chopin piece, to another Chopin piece- slighty easier but with added improvisation (which ends up harder than the first) to a TOTALLY new improvised piece. And if you'll observe even closer, Jay Chou plays the third and last piece single-handedly while the "Prince of Piano" had to play it with both hands!!! I love it. :)

La Campanella by Yundi Lee

After I finish learning Volodos' Improvisation of Mozart's Turkish March, I'm going to learn to play this:



Notice how he starts thrilling on his fourth and fifth fingers in the middle of La Campanella!! :O My mouth literally dropped open watching him. But it's a very pretty piece, and I'm going to try to master it if I can... :)

Yundi Lee is an amazing pianist. I think I like all the chinese pianists I've seen so far. He certainly doesn't have as much facial movements as Lang Lang, but he has some, and that's enough. It makes it so interesting to watch him. Way to go, China! :P

Yuja Wang, Lang Lang and Yundi Lee- there's gotta be more...

My newly adopted cyber pets!

Pet, feed and play with my pets! There's a "more" button at the bottom right corner of each of their boxes. Put your mouse on that and it will come up. Use the tools/food to take care of my cyber pets! You can also scratch some of the pets by clicking anywhere on their bodies and dragging your mouse around. They'll even make noise... :D

You're welcome to play with them- but please don't abuse them! :)

adopt your own virtual pet!

adopt your own virtual pet!

adopt your own virtual pet!

adopt your own virtual pet!

adopt your own virtual pet!

adopt your own virtual pet!

Mastermind

Find out who's the mastermind: you or the computer!

Live Television!

Afraid there's not too many channels to choose from, but hey, what can you expect? 4 channels is heapsss already! ;) I couldn't possible watch more than 2 at a time! :D

Have fun.

Sudoku Puzzle

For the mathematicians and "logicians"! :D

Polaroid Puzzle

Polaroid Puzzle

How to eat chocolate (:P)

Eating chocolate is both an art and a passion. It is important truly to appreciate the "food of the gods" and eat chocolate in moderation. And to truly appreciate chocolate in all its splendor, you must try its many different forms.
Steps

1.
Begin by reading books on chocolate. You can never learn too much about it; make sure to get books with colorful photographs of chocolate. Look especially for books that discuss tasting chocolate, discussions on the various brands of chocolate and the history behind chocolate. All of this is essential background knowledge to truly appreciate eating chocolate.

2. Try milk chocolate varieties. See if these please your palate. Always seek the best quality milk chocolate varieties rather than the common supermarket and corner store bars and confectionery. Look especially for Swiss, Belgian, French, German, Argentinian and Tasmanian milk chocolates. Swiss milk chocolate is typically known for its ultra creaminess.

3. Try dark chocolate next. This ranges in intensity from around 45% through to 100%. Be careful not to try the dark chocolate at too high a level to begin with or you may not like it. Start at around 45 - 50% dark and work your way up. Most people do not like the 85 - 100% range at first, or maybe never, as it tends to be very bitter. 100% has no sugar content at all and is very harsh to the untrained palate. When tasting dark chocolate, allow it to melt in your mouth rather than chewing. This will make it less bitter and more tasty!

4. Try truffles. These should be hand-made, preferably by a chocolatier, a patissier or a baker who specializes in chocolate treats. The cream must be fresh. If it is not, the experience will be ruined. Return them and demand new ones - the chocolatier deserves to be made aware of any quality issues.

5. Try drinking chocolate. This is a delight not to be overlooked in the pursuit of enjoying chocolate. Purists may pooh-pooh drinking it but did you know that this is how chocolate was first appreciated by the Aztecs and then the Europeans many centuries ago? There are many different ways to enjoy hot chocolates or iced chocolates. What is important is to find high quality drinking chocolates. Beware drinking chocolates marketed at children or for mass cafeteria consumption; they are likely to be oversweet and sickly. Look for low fat and sugar content (as in, no added fats to pad out the powder and not too high a sugar ratio). True connoisseurs will look for powdered drinking chocolate that has no added milk fats, slight sugar and high cacao content or for the pure grated or broken high quality chocolate itself (added directly to warm milk).

6. Savor chocolate. Whether you chew, allow to melt in the mouth or drink your chocolate, enjoy it slowly and with enjoyment. Take out time to discern the notes in chocolate for yourself and to try and develop a tasting repertoire that suits you. Chocolate differs in taste and quality in the same way as wine, whiskey, cognac seafood and game meats do. Learn to appreciate the subtleties over time. And share with a friend - become experts together!


Tips

* The best kinds of chocolate are those from reputable chocolate companies. Look especially for chocolate estate brands; brands that pride themselves on harvest year, country of origin and estate name.
* Make sure to choose full fat milk for drinking chocolate. Reduced fat milk is not as creamy or heavenly and does less justice to the drink.
* Try a "submarine" if you want to watch the chocolate unfold in the glass. Heat the milk, add to the glass and then pop in a good quality chocolate bar. Use a teaspoon to help swirl it around. After it is fairly evenly distributed, start drinking. You will need to keep on stirring it during the time you drink it, as the chocolate that has sunk to the base of the glass needs to be encouraged to swirl around the milk. This is half the fun of the drink.


Warnings

* Be careful not to begin with very dark chocolate or it is unlikely you will ever grow to appreciate eating chocolate.
* As with anything, enjoy in moderation. Although recent claims point to the health effects of darker chocolates, they still contain fat and should not be taking the place of fruit and vegetables in your well-balanced diet! Use your common sense and watch the waistline.


Things You'll Need

* Chocolate judiciously chosen
* A note book for keeping notes on favorite chocolates and stores you purchased the chocolates from (it is easy to forget if you have roamed far and wide finding different types).

Article from Wikihowto

How to Calculate Your Age by Chocolate!!

Yes, it's true: If you are old enough to do mathematics and you like chocolate, you might be able to figure out your age. By crunching these numbers (including the weekly frequency of your preference for chocolate), your age is mathematically revealed. It's a nifty trick for kids learning basic mathematics, who can practice it on adults and elicit reactions of surprise and amusement. Try it out to see for yourself, and then read on to find out how it works.
Steps

1. Determine how many times a week you eat or want chocolate. It must be a number between 1 and 10, including 1 or 10.

* Let's say you eat chocolate 8 times a week (we won't tell).
2. Multiply that number by 2.

* 8 x 2 = 16
3. Add 5 to the previous result.

* 16 + 5 = 21
4. Multiply that by 50.

* 21 x 50 = 1050
5. Add 1757 if you've had a birthday this year. If you haven't had a birthday this year, add 1756.

* Let's say your birthday hasn't passed yet.
* 1050 + 1756 = 2806
6. Subtract your birth year.

* Assuming you were born in 1975...
* 2806 - 1975 = 831
7. You'll end up with a 3 or 4 digit number. The last two digits are your age (if you're under 10 years old there will be a zero before your age). The remaining one or two digits will be the number of times per week you eat or want chocolate (the number you specified in the first step).


Why it works

* This really does work for anybody from 1 to 99 years old, although the chocolate part is just for fun (an added distraction). Here's how the mathematics work.
* Select a number between 1 and 10. Multiply by 2, add 5, multiply by 50. These steps are just a fancy way to push your (or your assistant's) random number out into the hundreds place. Here is what you'll get for all possible selections:

1 350
2 450
3 550
4 650
5 750
6 850
7 950
8 1050
9 1150
10 1250

* Add 1757 or 1756, if your birthday hasn't happened yet this year. This yields the year of your last birthday (2006 or 2007) plus 100 times your chosen number:

1 2106
2 2206
3 2306
4 2406
5 2506
6 2606
7 2706
8 2806
9 2906
10 3006

* Subtract the year of your birth and get your age plus 100 times your chosen number. Put another way:

(Year of your last birthday + (100 x your chosen number)) - Year of your birth = Your age + (100 x your chosen number)


Warnings

* This will only work in 2007! For 2008, in Step 5, add 1758 if your birthday went by and 1757 if it didn't yet.
* This will not work consistently for people who are 100 years old or older.
* Your friends may think you are strange for playing this game as it requires inputting information from their date of birth into the equation.


Article by WikiHowto

Yuja Wang playing Rondo Alla Turka

Waaah... it's people like her who make me want to cry and give up learning the piano, but yet at the same time press on in hope of achieving something half as great...



I really, really can't believe it! It's SOOOO good, and I love the improvisation of the Alla Turka. I wonder if she improvised herself, or if not, where I can find that score!!! I want to learn it! (And I can too... I'll force myself to. I just HAVE to!) And after all, I did manage to learn Liebestraum... :D

The hardest part of that piece would be the coordination of the 2 melodies (it's actually contrapunctal!) on the separate hands: RH having the running melody and LH the 'theme'. It's very cool and simply awesome!

Yuja Wang was unknown before, but not anymore! I'm adding her to my list of 'Awe inspiring Pianists!' :D

Awe Inspiring Pianists

A collection of some pianists who are just awe inspiring! Words fail to describe their talent! I won't try to describe it then, I'll let you see for yourself.

Anthony Berger



Anonymous but impressive

I can't embed this particular video, but this kid plays Fantasie Impromptu my Choppinat the age of 6 ot 7!!! And there's only 1 slip he made! I'm 17 and I still can't play it as well as he can! :O

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N345XPAbokA

Lang Lang (china boy) He's awesome!



And of course, my latest addition: Yuja Wang (I don't even know where she is from!) But that's easy to remedy. I'll just 'google' her. :D Apparently, she's a very famous concert pianist.

Gaither with Mark Lowry

This is THE most hilarious song-comedy with Mark Lowry... it's and my favourite. :D

Jesus on the Mainline



It's FUNNY!!!!!!!!! Whooah! :P

Over the moon (Part 1 and 2)






Cool Water



Gaither Interrupted

The most ridiculous cases ever!

No wonder Nat told me to practice law in America. With people like them, there will never b a shortage of lawyers!

A must read... it's hilarious.

Time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards."
The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself
and successfully sued McDonald's (in USA). That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States.
Here are this year's winners (from 5th to 1st place)

2005 Stella Awards
5th Place (tie):

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store.

The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

2005 Stella Awards
5th Place (tie):

19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.

Mr Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbour's hubcaps.

2005 Stella Awards
5th Place (tie):

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed, to the tune of $500,000.

2005 Stella Awards
4th Place:

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses
after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbour's beagle.

The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

2005 Stella Awards
3rd Place:

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone).

The beverage was on the floor because Ms Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2005 Stella Awards
2nd Place:

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth.

This occurred while Ms Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room
to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge.

She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

2005 Stella Awards
1st Place:

This year's runaway winner was Mrs Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
Mrs Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago (RV) motor home. On her first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich.
Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.

Morons indeed... One would be lead to think that it is a strange Jury who would award even a CENT to this mindless doddering clowns... Perhaps the plaintiffs were way too smart for the defendants. In either case, it's ridiculous...!!

Try diciphering this!!

I have been really intrigued with this activity that my Research and writing lecturer gave us. That exercise was to deciper this. It was part of a real taxation act in 1936.

Out of the whole class of 400 students, I don't believe even 10 got this right. Try it. Haha... have fun scratching your heads! And DO post a comment with your answer! I got the answer wrong, but know the correct answer now. I will let you know when one of you gets the right answer!

The question: Which animal/s do you need a licence for: male and/or female dogs and/or male and/or female cats?

PET ACT, 1936

6(1) ‘Cat’ includes dog.

…

26 A licence must be held for
…
(f) any cat that is not a cat that
(i) would not be a cat were it not for s 6(1) and
(ii) is not male.

The point of this exercise was to prove the point of "avoiding negatives like a plague." Imagine if lawyers wrote like that these days- no one would understand them! Thank goodness the writing style has been changed during the last couple of years!

Sandi Patty

Yes, I do seem to have a penchant for her, don't I? :D But she has a wonderful voice!

Emmanuel & In the Name of the Lord

This one is very good. I like it, even though I have not heard it before. I copied the lyrics by ear so you can follow it as you listen. Here it is:

Verse 1:
The crowds have lined the narrow street
To see this man from Galilee
He’s just a carpenter, some say
And he’s leading fools astray
Yet many kneel to give Him praise
And in His eyes He glimpse the power
That sees the hearts of all men
And He knows His Father’s mind
He speaks His Father’s Word
For He comes in the Name of the Lord

Chorus:
And there is strength in the Name of the Lord
There is power in the Name of the Lord
There is hope in the Name of the Lord
Blessed is He who comes in the Name of the Lord

Verse 2:
When my plans have fallen through
And when my strength is nearly gone
When there’s nothing left to do
But just depend on You
And the power of Your Name
And as we call upon Your Name
Your strength through our weakness to show
We can know the Master’s plan
We can extend the Master’s hand
When we come in the Name of the Lord

Chorus:
And there is strength in the Name of the lord
There is power in the Name of the Lord
There is hope in the Name of the Lord
Blessed is He who comes in the Name of the Lord

Bridge:
And His Name will be worshipped forever
As Creator, our Redeemer and King

Ending:
There is strength in the Name of the Lord
There is power in the Name of the Lord
There is hope in the Name of the Lord
Blessed is He who comes
Blessed is He who comes
Blessed is He who comes
In the Name of the Lord!